Granddaughter does not want any family to attend her wedding

Dear Abby: Our first granddaughter is getting married in six months and has told her parents that no one from either family is invited to the wedding. They want to get married by themselves because they are both shy and don’t want to be the center of attention. At first I was OK with it, but the more I thought about it, the more hurt I felt. The confusing part about this is she wants a pre-wedding party for both families to attend. So I asked her to keep an open mind and think about having the party right after the marriage ceremony. Now she won’t talk to me! Was I wrong to suggest an idea? My husband is now saying he doesn’t want to attend any party they will have.

I can’t stop thinking about our daughter and how she feels about not being able to see her daughter get married. I’m afraid I may have made things worse, and I’m very depressed. I just want to fix it so everyone is happy. Help!

— Depressed in North Carolina

Dear Depressed: So you have appointed yourself the official family fixer? Your “shy” granddaughter and her fiance appear to be confirmed introverts.

If they prefer to take their vows privately, it’s their privilege, and you shouldn’t personalize it. That was your mistake.

While I don’t think you have committed a cardinal sin and do think your granddaughter overreacted, you shouldn’t feel the need to mend any fences. As to how your daughter will feel about not seeing her daughter get married, that is not your problem. Take a step back and let the bride and groom celebrate their day as they wish.

P.S. I find it odd the bride and groom would want ANY party, feeling the way they do about the ceremony.