Wife cuts off communication with spouse after single disagreement

Dear Abby: My wife of 39 years decided two weeks ago to cease all communication with me. We had a sometimesrocky marriage, but since becoming empty-nesters six months ago, we have enjoyed a rebirth of our relationship — long walks, games, fun meals, concerts, etc.

Two weeks ago, we had what I thought was a minor disagreement about the use of a credit card. Since then she has treated me like I don’t exist. She answers my questions with one word only or no response. I have begged her to talk to me about what’s wrong; she just turns away. She has altered her daily schedule to avoid having contact with me. What can I do?

— Clueless in

Tennessee

Dear Clueless: It’s time to review why your marriage to this woman was “rocky.” Stop begging, step back and count yourself fortunate that you have had this reminder. Counseling might help you and your wife to communicate in a healthier way if she is willing to try. However, if she isn’t, you will have to decide how much more “punishment”

you are willing to tolerate when you disagree, and what is realistic to do about it if you aren’t.

Dear Abby: We have a neighbor whose adult son has gotten into trouble with the law. His mom and dad are devastated and have withdrawn from all of us. How do we handle it when we see them around the neighborhood? Do we ignore “the elephant” and just say hi? Do we ask them how their son is doing?

— What To Do

in the East

Dear What To Do: When you see your neighbors, be cordial. Make polite conversation, and if they mention their son, listen to what they have to say and be supportive.