Mother is constantly criticizing her daughter’s parenting abilities

Dear Abby: My mother has no faith in me, mostly because I have a disability. Even though it’s not that bad, she still doesn’t think I can do anything hard. Although I’m almost 40, she still tells me what to do and criticizes me in any way she can, including my parenting. I can’t spend a day with her without wanting to come home and take a bat to the walls.

I don’t trust her because she tends to tell her friends or family things I would rather were kept private. What can I do about this?

— Irritated in Illinois

Dear Irritated: If this is any comfort, I receive letters with the same complaint as yours from readers who don’t have disabilities. If your children are healthy and doing well and your mother’s criticisms are baseless, my advice is to tune your mother out. Because she discusses things you confide in her with others, quit telling her anything you don’t want broadcast. You might also consider seeing your mother less often.

Dear Abby: I would like to propose a new word for general use. It’s “wasband.” Definition: male to whom I am no longer married. Reason: “Ex” seems a pejorative term. I didn’t want to add that burden to the baggage our kids may have picked up.

I have used it since the mid-1990s. I began to think of a new term when I was in a social situation with my wasband, his wife and mutual friends. I bumped into a colleague and wasn’t quick enough to think of a polite term for my former husband, so I could only introduce him as “the father of my children.” I think “wasband” is a less awkward term. What do you think, Abby?

— Lover of Language

in Washington

Dear L.O.L.: I think it is clever.