Couple planning wedding want to keep haters away with a disclaimer

Dear Abby: My fiance and I have begun planning our wedding for next year. We have both been married before, so family doesn’t think we should have a “big” celebration.

We were discussing how to address people’s opinions because we don’t want our wedding day to be full of people complaining. We would like to include a “disclaimer” saying something like, “If you’re not truly happy for us, stay home!” I realize that etiquette would not allow us to do it. Do you have any suggestions?

— Our “Big Day”

Dear “Big Day”: I’m glad you recognize that the “disclaimer” would be inappropriate. If you prefer your guests forgo giving you a gift, convey that by having someone else deliver it VERBALLY when guests call to ask where you are registered. The wording should be: “They only want you to share in their happiness on this special day. No gift is expected or required.”

Dear Abby:

I have been married more than 40 years. We are now retired and moved to a small town a few years ago. My problem is my husband does almost nothing to help out around the house.he watches TV all day long, but when he does want to get out and do something, it must always include me. I’m sick of his face at this point. I don’t think he would go to a marriage counselor because he feels I’m the problem. Help!

— Irked in Idaho

Dear Irked: Because he won’t talk to a marriage counselor doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t. It’s important you learn coping skills to deal with his passive aggression. If a licensed therapist can’t help to relieve the pressure on you, make an appointment with a lawyer to discuss what options you have.