Partner’s wandering eyes are starting to create doubts about relationship

Dear Abby: I’m in an eight-year relationship, and we share a 3-year-old child together. We talk about marriage, but truth be told, I’m having doubts. He has a wandering eye, which is a total turn-off for me.

For instance, when we go to a restaurant and the waitress walks up to assist us, as soon as she turns around, he automatically glues his eyes on her backside. I don’t say anything about it, but it’s so annoying. Should I say anything or just continue to pretend that I don’t see?

— Bothered in Louisiana

Dear Bothered: Many men ogle, but for most of them, it’s only their eye that wanders. Because it bothers you so much you may not want to move the relationship forward, by all means speak up. Pretending not to notice has changed nothing.

Dear Abby: I have wonderful neighbors. They own a fish market in Chinatown. Since they moved in three years ago, he has given me fish almost every other week. My dilemma is, he speaks almost no English, and she speaks only broken English. Some of the fish he gives me I don’t use, so I offer it to another neighbor or throw it out. I would like to tell him which fish I prefer, but don’t want to seem ungrateful or like it’s shopping from home. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

— Grateful in New York

Dear Grateful: You might “innocently” mention which fish you especially appreciate when he brings it to you, but other than that, I think you should be grateful for your neighbor’s generosity and forget about “placing an order” for something you’re not paying for. You should also make an effort to reciprocate.