We all have cracks
I’ d like to share a story with you that I found years ago ( author unknown): A water bearer had two large pots hung on each end of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it. While the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
This went on for years and, of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. The poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfections, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. It constantly compared itself to the other pot. After a long time, the cracked pot spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream:
“I am ashamed because I am a failure. For these years, I have been able to deliver only half of my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work and you don’t get full value from your efforts. I am sorry.”
The water bearer said, “As we return to the house today, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.” Indeed, as they went up the hill, the cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load.
The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about the crack in your side and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path and every day, while we walk back from the stream, you water them. For years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers for my table. Without you being just the way you are, the flowers wouldn’t be here.”
Most of us can very easily find a dozen flaws within ourselves. The fact is that it’s easy to find things that are wrong with us or unsatisfying in our life.
We often compare ourselves to others and feel “less than” because we don’t travel as much or have as much ( at least in our own eyes). We feel ugly because our bodies are shaped differently or our hair is not the same as someone we feel is more beautiful. We are aided in this practice, of course, by the many beautifully rendered pictures swirling around our TVS, in magazines and on the internet.
But think about this — the biggest problem is not that the pictures exist but that we compare ourselves to them and measure the value of our lives against someone else. The negative comes when we focus on the cracks themselves instead of seeing what is good and strong within us … and how those cracks might be used for good.
Sometimes it is hard to give credit for what we HAVE accomplished and for the good things in our life. We can break this cycle not only by changing our focus but by asking good questions: “How might this flaw be used for good? What joy CAN I find in this situation?”
Instead of focusing on what isn’t in our lives, we can focus on what IS in our lives. Each of us has our own unique flaws. But if we allow it, our gifts can be used for beauty.
Let’s water the flowers.
Tina Bartleson is the executive director of the Exchange Club Family Resource Center, which provides in- home parent education and mentoring to families with children 0- 12 years. She has 29 years experience working with families and may be contacted through www.exchangeclubfrc.org.