Parents do not approve of woman dating a man of a different race

Dear Abby: I’m a 22-year-old woman who was adopted. I recently started dating an amazing man who happens to be of another race. My parents, whom I love very much, told me that if I stay with him, they will disown me. They have made many horrible comments about my relationship, and I’m at a loss about what to do. I love them, but I also love my boyfriend. Please give me advice. What should I do?

— Hopeless in Indiana

Dear Hopeless: You need to figure out which is more important to you, the hope for a future with this amazing man who is new in your life, or your relationship with your parents. It’s a tough choice to make.

Start by making a list of the pros and the cons. Once you are finished, understanding that neither choice will be pain free, you may have a clearer idea of what your decision must be.

Dear Abby:

My husband of 30 years still desires me. I know he has been faithful. He’s a wonderful father, has plenty of friends, a warm sense of humor and even in tough times has always managed to be a good provider. We have never wanted for anything.

He is in decent shape for his age, and some women have commented that he is handsome. Yet I recoil at his advances or pretend to be asleep.

— No Desire Down

South

Dear No Desire: Have you always felt this way, or is it (relatively) recent? Hormonal changes as women age can be a reason for lack of libido, and if that’s what’s causing your problem, it is something you should talk about with your gynecologist because it may be fixable. Start there.