Colleague refuses payment for helping reader learn new software

Dear Abby:

My colleagues and I were recently notified that our company is closing next month. My work partner and I have collaborated closely for four years, and he’s an expert at the software I need to know to get a job in my field. When I asked if he would give me a couple of lessons via Zoom, I was thinking it’d be about a three-hour commitment for him. But he was enthusiastic and designed a 20-plushour curriculum for me.

He keeps saying he doesn’t want me to pay him, but I want to find an appropriate way to express my gratitude. What would be an appropriate amount to compensate him?

— Thankful in Illinois

Dear Thankful: If you know of any interests, hobbies, a sport, etc. your partner has outside the workplace, consider going online to see if you can find something connected to that activity he would enjoy that’s within your budget.

Dear Abby:

Every year on Facebook’s “National Daughter’s Day,” my daughter’s mother-in-law professes her love, respect and admiration for her own daughter, but never acknowledges her daughterin-law (my daughter). Yet on “National Son’s Day,” she posts glowing tributes not only to her sons, but also to her son-in-law.

We all live within miles of each other, and this recurring slight makes it difficult to act like everything is fine when, in truth, this is hurtful to my daughter and to our family. Should I address this issue with the mother-in-law or continue to bite my tongue?

— Dismissed in Texas

Dear Dismissed:

Mention it to your son-in-law and point out to him that being slighted is hurtful. There may be a better result if HE brings it up to his mother.