Reader feels like beau’s renter, not partner after moving in together
Dear Abby: I have been with the same man for almost 30 years. We are not married and have no children together. He is 15 years older than I am.
We have been living in his house for the past seven years. I feel more like a renter than a partner in this relationship. I give him money every month, and we sleep in separate rooms. He wants to control everything in his house, including how to clean, cook or what we eat. He is a lifelong bachelor, while I have two adult children and a couple of grandkids. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. I want to leave, but at the same time, I care and worry about him. What should I do?
— Disillusioned in Illinois
DEAR ABBY
Dear Disillusioned: Quit biting your lip. Gather your courage and start an honest conversation with your housemate in which you tell him you have been unhappy with the status quo for a long time. Then outline the changes that would make you happy. If he isn’t willing to compromise, then pack your bags and leave because you will know the feelings you have for him are not mutual.
Dear Abby: My son is getting married in a couple of weeks. Due to COVID19, he and his fiancee are having to downsize the list of invitees. This includes asking those who have already RSVP’D “yes” and/or have already given them a wedding gift not to attend. Should they return the wedding gifts to those they are disinviting?
— Wondering in the South
Dear Wondering: Your son and his fiancee should at least OFFER to return the gifts. Considering the reason for the downsizing, some of the no-longer-invited guests may tell them to keep them along with their good wishes.