Adult expects to have privacy even while living in parents’ home

Dear Abby: At the age of 30, I recently had to move back with my parents. I am not the tidiest person in the world, but I thrive on the saying, “Dust, not dirt.”

I recently went on vacation. I knew my room was a little messier than I’d like, but I also knew I’d return from vacation ready to tackle the pile of laundry and sweep and mop the floor. Lo and behold, when I walked into my room, it was clean and organized! Abby, I felt my privacy had been invaded.

I was embarrassed and ashamed, but also hurt because my parents had trespassed beyond my closed door. I feel betrayed and like my personal privacy was undermined. What should I do?

— Invaded Space

Dear Invaded: I’m glad you asked. I think you should get over it, and fast. I assume you are staying rent-free in your parents’ home. You are no longer a teenager, and nobody trespassed. While you are under their roof, make an extra effort to keep the room you occupy free from dust and a pile of dirty laundry.

Dear Abby: I’m 60 and was a stay-at-home mom for 20 years. My problem is, at this age, I’m a little slower at learning new things. My supervisor was willing to help me for the first week, but now she seems to have lost patience. I have been here barely two weeks, and she made a comment that made me feel terrible. She was trying to teach me a filing system, and I was having a hard time understanding it. She said in front of the entire office that “around here we have to use our brains.” Should I talk to her or just push through?

— A Little Slower

Dear Slower: Let it slide this time. However, if her lack of tact continues, talk to her about how her comment made you feel.