Schedules collide when mother and teenage daughter share a car

Dear Abby: I am a 16-year-old girl, and I’m having a conflict with my mom over my car. Her car broke down and she needed to use mine, which is completely understandable, and I agreed. However, I have a work schedule I have to stick to, and I need my car to get to and from. I pay all the bills for it, and the title is in my grandfather’s name.

I asked her to let me use my car to get to and from work and for Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend. She seemed extremely upset by it, and now she and my stepdad continually tell me that should she EVER need the car, I have to give it to her.

While I understand she needs it to get to and from work, and I’m willing to be flexible so she can, her demand that I not use it the entire time hers is in the shop is completely unacceptable because I also have responsibilities.

How do I help her understand that while she can use it for work because that is important, when I need it after her work hours, I should be able to use it because I pay for it? Must I just suck it up and let her continue using it (putting my relationship with my boyfriend at risk and possibly having to walk five miles to work in bad weather) or tell her the days I need it are absolute, and since it is my car, I will be using it?

— Confused

Dear Confused: While I agree with the concept of “yours” and “mine,” there are times when family has to pull together.

On the grand scale of things at this point, your mom’s responsibilities as an adult are more important than your love life.

If lacking access to your car means you would have to trudge five miles in bad weather to and from work, ask your stepdad or your grandfather if one of them can transport you.