Lip tickle machines and Michael Waves
The things I see on that Floyd County yard sale page. I’ve rounded up a whole new batch of unintentionally hilarious yard sale errors and these may be some of the best yet.
For those who may not know, Yard Sale Gems is a recurring column. A couple years ago I started posting funny misspellings, typos and other little errors I found on the Floyd County Yard Sale Facebook page. It’s all in good fun. I never put in the names of the people who post those things. I just highlight the error.
Well ever since I started, people have been sending me errors THEY spot on the site and it’s grown so much that I’ll get screenshots of yard sale items from all over the place.
So without further ado, here are the latest yard sale gems. Many of these are simple misspellings, some are just typos and some are hilarious just because it seems like people don’t bother to look up what something’s called or how it’s spelled. In many cases you’ll see they write something just the way they pronounce it and that’s not always the correct way ...
1996 Ford Power Stroke, $3,200. Ford bus turned into a camper. Handy cap ramp in the back. — They mean handicap.
Vanity with bowl sink pinding pickup, $100 Summerville, Ga. — the word is PENDING. I’ve seen people do this a lot. Many of us spell things the way we pronounce them and that can lead to errors. People do this with sale/sell, pin/pen.
Genuine black leather couch in excellent condition no tares, 80L x 35W x 36H, $200 -- apparently this couch has no TEARS in it.
Twin head bored and foot bored, no rails, $40, Rome, Ga. — I guess this person’s bed is really boring and that’s why he’s getting rid of it. He means head and foot BOARD.
Husher cabinet, $400, Lafayette, Ga. — Another spell-it-like-yousay-it error. This person is selling a HOOZIER cabinet, a type of kitchen cupboard.
Michael Wave, $10 -- You read that right. This is how this person spells MICROWAVE. I can almost hear them saying it, too.
2013 Goat Car, $400. Few things to fix, not much. Runs good — If you think this person is selling a car for goats, you’d be wrong. Even thought that’s how he wrote it. What he meant to say was GO KART.
A Lip Tickle Machine, $150 — a lot of my friends got a kick out of this one when I posted a photo of it on social media. The picture of the item showed that this person was, in fact, selling an ELLIPTICAL machine. My friends had a field day with this in the comment section: “Will it still work if you use chapstick?”; “I had to say it over and over out loud to understand it”; “I have no comment without risking Facebook jail.”
The next few did not come from the local yard sale site. They were sent to me from other places but are definitely worth mentioning:
(Photos of a car) Runs great. Does need a catholic converter. I just got a new car and don’t got a need for it anymore. Paducah, Kentucky. — Now this one was sent to me by a college friend. I went to college not far from Paducah. Apparently this car has had a spiritual awakening and wants to convert to Catholicism. Either that or the seller meant to say CATALYTIC converter. Either way, my friends loved this one. “We only drive Protestant vehicles in my house”; “I’m a Catholic convert but I’ll pass on this one”; I don’t got a need for no heathen cars”; “I’m not sure my Momma wants me drivin’ around with a Catholic converter. They got any Southern Baptist converters you can put on that?”; “Would I have to go to confession?”; “Well dang, I’m Pentecostal.”
Gulf Cart, $250, Manchester Tennessee — No, this person isn’t selling a cart that can navigate in the gulf. They meant to say GOLF cart. But now that I think about it, a GULF cart might be the next great invention.
Porsche Chairs, $150, Chattanooga Tennessee — If you’re thinking $150 is actually really cheap for chairs made by luxury automobile manufacturer PORSCHE, you’d be correct. This person is selling PORCH chairs.
Jesus religious STATUSES, concrete, $20, Cumming Ga. — This seller was not trying to get you to create religious posts to your social media page. He or she meant religious STATUES.
As I said before, I don’t include people’s names with these because I’m not making fun of the person. I’m poking fun at the error itself. And we all make them from time to time. Keep an eye out for more yard sale gems and send ‘em to me. They might make the next list.