What I would tell her
Several months ago, while sitting in my driveway, I suddenly imagined what I would say to my daughter if I had one. I envisioned her sitting next to me, a teenager on the brink of womanhood — and a floodgate opened.
I didn’t realize how much I had stored up to tell her, my invisible daughter. The following is part one of the letter I wrote. Part two will be in next week’s column. Dearest Daughter,
This world is wide and deep and full, but also empty.
You will find it lush with amazing resources but also lacking in areas that are most important.
It will fill you up and leave you empty. It’s a double-sided coin.
Be a creator. Create what is missing. Gather yourself around other creators and help fill in the gaps.
When you are tired, rest. When you are sad, cry. Be angry at what makes you angry.
Sometimes you will be depleted and will need to be still. Sometimes you will be inspired and amazed.
There are all kinds of people in the world. We are all made up of layers, each one as different and unique as our fingerprints.
Some take and some give. Some evolve and some stay stagnate. Some stay and some leave.
Most do a little of each.
May you be quick to remember that Talk is cheap, and Trust is earned. Always.
Prefer Truth to comfort and you will be comforted by Truth.
Society will offer you an ideal of what beauty means, but it is false. Beauty is born from the inside. Our bodies are borrowed, and we have no control over what shell we are born into, but we do have a choice over what kind of hearts we will have.
You will never have the power to alter the past. It is a thing that cannot be changed, but how you account for the past and handle the present will help determine your future.
The power that you do have is this: self-awareness — the realization that you are human, in a constant state of learning and growing, and will make mistakes. But those mistakes are not anything to shrink away from or be ashamed of. See them for what they are — lessons on what to do differently next time. Make amends for wounding anyone in the process (whether it is yourself or someone else).
Be gentle with yourself. Show yourself abundant grace and unconditional love. Be your own best friend — this is how we learn to love others well.
If anyone, ANYONE, tries to tell you how to think, how to feel, or what to believe, RUN the other way.
Trust YOUR gut, YOUR instincts. The most valuable thing in your possession is your own voice. Hear it and use it well.
In this broken world, things will break your heart.
But hearts heal because love is everpresent. The world is wounded, but it is also full of hope, endurance, and strength.