Woman is not prepared to give up on trying to become a mother

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been trying to have a child for nine years with no success. We have been through 14 rounds of fertility drugs, only two of which were successful, but neither one produced a child. My husband wants me to stop treatments because he doesn’t like what the medications do to me, and I have agreed to stop because I think my body is just too tired. But, Abby, all of me wants to be a mother. Must I give up, or should I keep trying even though it might lead to further heartbreak?

— Maternal in Washington

Dear Maternal: Listen to your body. It may be time to consider other options than fertility drugs.

These include fostering, adoption or hiring a surrogate to help. These are subjects to pursue, first with your husband, then your physician and possibly an attorney who specializes in adoption law. And don’t forget, it isn’t unheard of for some women who adopt to later become pregnant without medical intervention.

Dear Abby: My son is getting married for the third time. I paid for half of his first wedding and also gave a generous gift. I gave him a significant cash gift for his second wedding. Do I give him and his new bride yet another cash gift? They are planning a small wedding overseas, which I won’t be attending. All have been first weddings for the brides. I don’t want the new bride to feel slighted, but on the other hand, it’s getting expensive for me. What’s a perplexed mother to do?

— Disgusted Mom in Florida

Dear Mom: Write them a check and hope the third time is the charm for your nomadic son. Then tell him you’re closing your checkbook.