Daughter’s friendship does not look like it will last through adolescence

Dear Abby: My 15year-old daughter, “Nadia,” has been friends with another girl, “Kelly,” since they were 8. Over the years, I have had my concerns about Kelly because she lies. She can also be very manipulative, and she hasn’t always treated Nadia well.

Nadia and I have had numerous conversations about this friend over the years, and I have expressed my feelings about Kelly’s behavior. Sometimes

Nadia would acknowledge Kelly’s wrongdoings; other times she’d get upset and insist I was wrong. Either way, she seemed to have great loyalty to Kelly.

Over the years, Kelly’s mother, “Brittany,” and I became friends and, over the last two or three, we have grown very close. I allowed it to happen because I thought Kelly had matured. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Meanwhile, Nadia has been seeing more clearly what a difficult person Kelly is and is pulling away from her.

While I’m happy Nadia has found healthier friendships, I am worried about how this may affect my friendship with Brittany.

She tends to be defensive about her kids and will probably not be able to see how much her daughter has hurt Nadia over the years. Advice?

— Mom Problem in

Massachusetts

Dear Mom: I do have some. STAY OUT OF IT. It’s common for childhood friendships to wane. By now you should have realized friendships cannot be forced. All it does is breed resentment. Unless Brittany raises the subject, avoid discussing it.

Cross your fingers and hope that Kelly might not even realize Nadia is less available. However, if Brittany asks, simply say that the girls’ friendship, like other teen relationships, seems to have run its course.