Teenage niece sees no problem with being around people in underwear

Dear Abby: I don’t know what to do about my 18-year-old niece. She walks around the house in her underwear. She’s been doing it for the last two or three years. It wouldn’t matter, I suppose, if it were just in front of immediate family living there, but she also does it in front of workmen, the cleaning women, answering the door, going out to get the mail, etc. I’m really disgusted. I spoke to my brother briefly about it. His response was, “She lives here.” Is there anything I can do or say?

— Modest in Massachusetts

Dear Modest:

Yes, there is. If her family doesn’t object to her walking around the house in her underwear, that’s their prerogative. But “someone” should remind your niece that doing it in front of workmen, household staff and the mail carrier is disrespectful to them.

Dear Abby:

I live in a very small town where everybody knows everything. I own my home and attend a church with a small congregation. When a food pantry opened, I reluctantly began going in to supplement my food budget. The volunteers are all locals, and I know many of them. One woman, who also attends my church, volunteers there as well. This woman has adopted a smirk and a hard stare in my direction when she sees me now. How should I handle her?

— Shamed in North Carolina

Dear Shamed: Handle it by discussing it with whoever has organized and manages that food bank. Also mention it to your pastor.

If the church member is behaving as you say she is, she should be told to stop embarrassing you, because it is unchristian and uncalled-for.