What do your decisions cost you?

Tom Brady retired this week. Again. He claims this is the final time. He is, without question, the GOAT. Consider his stats: 89,000 yards passing, 649 TDs, 251 victories, 7 Super Bowl championships. But what did it cost him?

As most remember, Tom Brady retired last year. After winning his 7th Super Bowl title. And then, 40 days later, he tweeted, “These past two months I’ve realized my place is still on the field and not in the stands. That time will come. But it’s not now. I love my teammates, and I love my supportive family. They make it all possible…”

But as his season progressed, many begin to wonder if he indeed had the support of his entire family. Rumors began to swirl and then in late October of 2022, Tom and his wife, Gisele announced their divorce.

Immediately, the speculation, the blame began. Many said the reason for the divorce was that Gisele did not want Tom to return to the NFL, but he did it anyway. And, therefore, many began to say that Tom’s desire for one more trophy, for another season, that his desire to continue to be an NFL quarterback cost him his marriage.

Whether or not that is true, we may never know.

But this is where I want to re-route our focus. We can all look at Tom Brady and make claims that he chose career over family or that he loved what he did more than he loved his wife — but what about us?

No, most of us aren’t chasing millions of dollars or another Super Bowl trophy, but many of us are chasing a promotion or trying to prove to someone that we are what they said we could never become. Many of us spend too many hours at work, and not enough hours at home. Some of us know more about our co-workers than we do about the people we live with.

We make offhand comments about people like Tom Brady and his pursuit of things outside his marriage, but we don’t give thought to the hours we spend at the golf course or hanging out with our buddies on the weekends, hunting and fishing. We fail to understand how girls night out three times a week or refusing to ever put down our devices are things we are choosing over our marriage. Hobbies, Netflix, shopping, continuing to pursue the life we maintained as a single person after taking on the responsibility of marriage.

Consider this passage from Ephesians 5 from The Message: “Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another…Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing… Husbands, goal lout in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting.”

When we enter into a marriage, we are agreeing to live life differently. To not pursue our former life or former ways.

The Apostle Paul said this, “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.”

Maybe there is a message in this passage for us…instead of thinking about what a celebrity’s decision cost him, think about how your decisions may cost you. Maybe it’s time for some of us to put away childish things and put our marriage back where it is supposed to be on our list of priorities-just behind our relationship with God.

Joey Haynes is a follower of Jesus, married way out of his league, has two of the coolest children in the universe and is blessed to work with an amazing community of believers known as The Church at Rome.