One-night stand causes awkward social situation for group of friends

Dear Abby: During a trip to Las Vegas, I kind of had a one-night stand. I’m in a relationship. I felt bad afterward. Problem is, I started having feelings for this guy, “Leo.” We would message back and forth, more on my end than his. I guess you could say I was hung up on him. I have since mended my relationship with my partner.

My issue is, Leo is best friends with my best friend’s husband. When he visits, I am excluded, which means I can’t hang out with her.

I tell her we are all adults, we are not in high school and can be in the same room with each other. It’s not fair to me. Are my feelings justified? Any advice?

— Feeling Shunned on the West Coast

Dear Feeling: This isn’t all about YOUR feelings. You stated that you feel you can be in the same room with your best friend, her husband and Leo socially. Hasn’t it occurred to you that Leo may not be as open-minded about that fling as you are? Seeing you may make him feel guilty. This may be a case of “what happens in Vegas”

not only not staying in Vegas, but also having repercussions. See your best friend when Leo isn’t around.

Dear Abby:

I have been on phone calls recently with a married friend when the spouse will suddenly chime in, without my knowing they were listening. There are times when I want a conversation to be private with only one person. What’s the polite way to make this happen in a world of speakerphones? — Confidential in

Indiana

Dear Confidential:

The way to handle it is to tell the married person you would like to know if someone is within earshot because you want your conversation to be private.