Abuser wants to stop the violence and bring his family back together

Dear Abby: My wife and I have been married for five years, with two children. I have been putting my hands on her in such a bad way that she’s saying we are no longer a family and she wants a divorce. I need my wife and children back. It hurts to stay away.

I’m currently going to church and Sunday school and Bible study. I have been praying many hours these past few weeks, and it is helping me. I will do anything and everything to get my family back. What can I do to get them back?

— Learning a Lesson

in Nevada

Dear Learning: A good first step would be for you to gain some insight about what triggers you. Was physical abuse an example that was set by your parents? Does it happen because you have a substance abuse problem? A course in anger management could help you break this pattern. Search online for a program near you. If your wife sees you are making a sincere effort, she may trust you enough to risk reuniting. A warning, however: Do not pressure her. This will have to be HER decision.

Dear Abby: I have a new job in a small office. I have never been comfortable meeting new people or learning a new job, so in order to appear friendly, I’d chime in to the office conversations. A couple of times, I have revealed too much of my life. Later, I found out the owner audio records the office. Everyone else knew, but I was NEVER informed. Now I’m more embarrassed than ever. I have learned to selfcensor. Abby, is it a common and legal practice?

— Big Mouth in

California

Dear Big Mouth: This is a question you should ask an attorney. In several states, it is illegal for an employer to record conversations without first informing all the parties involved.