Man unsure of future with bi-curious fiancee

DEAR ABBY » My fiancee and I are in our early 50s. We dated for two years and have been engaged for three months. She’s a wonderful lady, and I can’t imagine life without her.

I knew she was bi-curious a year ago when she told me one of her married female co-workers was flirting with her and she kind of enjoyed it. Since then, their relationship has grown, and they get together every couple of weeks for intimacy in our home. They have even asked me to join them, which I haven’t done yet.

My fiancee insists she isn’t a lesbian or bisexual and what she and her friend are doing is innocent fun, but I’m not so sure. So far, I haven’t made an issue of it and go to bed at my usual time when her friend visits so they can have their fun. But have I opened Pandora’s box by being so agreeable?

She promises no romantic feelings are involved, that her friend is no threat to our relationship and the two of them are just blowing off steam. Our love life is great, and she says nothing can replace us in the bedroom. Should I continue to look the other way?

— Confounded in Kentucky

DEAR CONFOUNDED » Not knowing your fiancee, I can’t predict where she is on a Kinsey scale — a one being entirely heterosexual and a 10 being entirely homosexual. At this point, I don’t think she can either.

Unless you are comfortable with the idea of living this way, I urge you to have a very long engagement because it is anybody’s guess how this will turn out. The three of you are all consenting adults, so I won’t judge. I must, however, point out that if a monogamous marriage is what you want, your fiancee may not be for you.