Habit of one-upmanship taints friendship
DEAR ABBY » I have a good friend I’ll call Josie. She’s kind, generous and always willing to help. There is only one problem — she lies.
The lies she tells are ridiculous. I find myself getting more and more angry as she stumbles through her stories. If someone makes a comment, she takes over the conversation and we hear a looong story about the same thing happening to her but much worse.
What can I say or do to get her to stop lying?
— Truth Wins in Tennessee
DEAR TRUTH WINS » One person trying to convince her to stop probably won’t do the trick. Josie won’t quit lying until she finally hears it from others and realizes that it isn’t achieving the desired effect, which is standing front and center in the spotlight.
Tell Josie in plain English that what she’s doing is infuriating and that she’s doing herself no favors. But when you do, realize it will probably be part of a farewell speech rather than an opportunity for a new beginning.
DEAR ABBY » This letter is for people who are involved with folks who say they are separated. If you have feelings for someone who is separated, ASK when they plan on getting divorced. If they come up with excuses like there are children involved, property disputes or they can’t afford a lawyer, end the relationship immediately.
While I’m not in this situation, I have known several people who were, and they regretted it.
— Word of Warning
in Virginia
DEAR WORD » As anyone who has read my column knows, I have printed countless letters from heartbroken readers who wasted time and energy on partners who weren’t free.