Pandemic isolation leaves man’s social skills ‘rusty’

DEAR ABBY » I am a guy who is 27. I have always been somewhat shy and reserved, but I do like people and I like mixing. After more than a year of being “locked down” during the COVID-19 pandemic, although I was fine being housebound, I started missing human contact.

Social opportunities are opening up for me now, and though I was never great in conversations at parties, my “time away” has made me rusty. I believe you have written some pointers. Can you give me a quick refresher course?

— Ready to be Back Out There DEAR READY » I’m happy to try. The first thing to understand is that social adeptness is a skill. No one is born with it. It has to be learned. With practice, it can be “polished” until it becomes second nature.

Part of being social is showing an interest in other people. Encourage them to share their interests and opinions. Ask them to tell you about themselves and what they think. Ask their opinions and, when they tell you, be a good listener. Cultivate your own interests so you will have something to share with them.

I publish a booklet (which is probably what you were alluding to in your letter) titled, “How to be Popular” that contains many useful tips for polishing social skills. It can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus a check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. It is meant for people of all ages and covers a variety of situations. person’s life.)