Man’s hairy appearance is driving wife out

DEAR ABBY » My husband is a wonderful man. We’ve been married 31 years and have been retired for the past six. He takes care of most of the housework, and I work at a part-time job. We have no children or nearby relatives. We are pretty much all we have to depend upon.

My only complaint is something that has driven me crazy for years now, and I need your advice. When a certain political candidate was elected, my good-looking husband decided to grow out his hair and beard in protest. I let it slide, but he knew how I felt about it. I figured it would last only a few years. Well, that politician has been out of office quite a while now, and my husband still looks like Tim Allen in “The Santa Clause.” He looks like he’s indigent. It’s so embarrassing, I don’t want to be seen with him. This is a man who was very good looking.

I have begged, pleaded, nagged (his term) and kept quiet, hoping he would surprise me with a haircut. Nothing. I even tried insulting him, telling him his credibility was trash because, obviously, this has nothing to do with his “protest.” I am ready to leave. The last straw was when he started quoting Howard Hughes. Do you think my husband has lost it? Because I’m about to.

— Embarrassed in Illinois

DEAR EMBARRASSED » A marriage to someone you can no longer stand to be near isn’t much of a marriage.

If your husband is quoting Howard Hughes, you know his long-term memory is intact. However, it may be time for you to make an appointment for the two of you for your annual checkups. When you do, relate your concerns to the doctor in advance. If it turns out that your husband’s mental status is normal (although, who knows what is “normal” these days), you may have to issue your hairy hubby an ultimatum. A word of warning though: Do NOT issue one unless you are serious about following through.

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