T

he coronavirus won’t be going anywhere for a long time — and neither will our fears about it. Some states are rolling back plans to reopen their economies, and the United States is setting daily records for confirmed cases.

There’s a lot to be scared of. But when people share their fears, what do you say? It may feel as if you’re offering comfort with a comment meant to lift their spirits — “I know you’ll be fine!” — but to those who are aching, these rah-rah sentiments can sound like you’re bulldozing over their pain.

Responding to someone’s distress with an unhelpful, cheerful attitude is what the psychotherapist Whitney Goodman calls dismissive, or toxic, positivity.

An empathetic response reassures the other person you’re seeing the situation from their side and sharing in their suffering. A dismissively positive response shifts the burden of coping back onto the person expressing the negative emotion: If you tweaked your attitude, you’d feel better.

Dismissive positivity can take many forms:

• “Everything is going to be OK. At least you didn’t lose your job!”

• “Be grateful you can use this time to explore a new hobby.”

• “Think happy thoughts!”

• “At least you have a significant other to stay in place with.”

• “This won’t last forever, and you’re resourceful. You’ll come out on top!”

At its root, dismissive positivity is a response from someone who feels uncomfortable in the situation aiming to make you feel better, said Nicolle Osequeda, a psychotherapist. But it often “results in someone feeling unheard, frustrated, unsupported and alone.”

Just because you say, “You’ll be fine!” doesn’t mean that’s going to happen.

“That’s not how the world works,” said Ayanna Abrams, a licensed clinical psychologist. “That’s not how our bodies work. That’s not how our brain works.”

Problems and fears around COVID-19 can be complex, and having a positive outlook isn’t always a suitable salve. So here’s what to say — and what not to say — when people express their fears.

Steer clear of fixing or reframing negative emotions.