In-laws don’t welcome son’s girlfriend DEAR ABBY

Dear Abby: I have beenmarried tomy husband for 38 years. Our two children are adults now. Our older son has had the same girlfriend for 11 years, butmy inlaws still won’t accept her because they aren’t married, so they don’t include her in some family functions. How can I let them know in a niceway that she is family tome? Evenmy husband doesn’t regard her as family.

I understand some people are that way, but I was raised by a mother who saw all of our friends and boyfriends and girlfriends as family, even after some were divorced. I feel like skipping these family functions ifmy children and their girlfriends aren’t included. What can I do?

Inclusive inOklahoma

Your in-laws have a right to their opinions, and so do you. Listen to your heart. If it’s telling you that you would rather spend those times with your children and their girlfriends, go ahead and do it. I am assuming that the son who is involved in the long-term relationship would not be leaving his girlfriend home alone when these gatherings are held, because if that’s the case after 11 years, she should dump him.

Dear Abby: My sisters and I grew up in California. One ofmy sisters moved to Texas with her husband 29 years ago. Over the years I have had to listen to her put California down. On the occasions when she visits, she never fails to mention how crowded it is, how the air is terrible and how our government is a joke. Recently, she asked to come here for a visit, and I agreed.

The next day I got a text from her with an article attached about “Why California Sucks.” I amso irritated that I no longer want her to come next month. How do I handle this?

Annoyed in California

Dear Annoyed: Are you telling me you have tolerated your sister’s jibes about our great state of California all this time without putting a stop to it? That woman has a lot of nerve! If she truly hates it here, why is she willing to come?

Although Californiamay have its natural disasters, a large homeless population, unhealthful air quality, scorching heat waves and the promise of even higher taxes to come — other states are not without their challenges. Yet folks still seem to want to immigrate to California in droves, judging by the traffic.