San Antonio Express-News (Sunday)
The top 6 River Walk chains
Burgers, steaks and margaritas — embrace the tourist experience
Before this River Walk series, I’d never been to Hooters. The shortest of shorts, the most average of wings. But when it’s time to sort out the best chain restaurants on the River Walk — and they are legion — you do what you gotta do. You’re welcome.
Hooters didn’t make the cut. Neither did Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., Joe’s Crab Shack nor the famously rude Dick’s Last Resort. I didn’t find good barbecue at The County Line. I didn’t find good Mexican food at Iron Cactus. And I didn’t find good anything at whatever it is The Rainforest Cafe is supposed to be.
But what I did find in trips to 16 regional and national chain restaurants along the River Walk was good lamb chops at Fogo de Chão Brazilian Steakhouse, a solid burger at Hard Rock Cafe and a top-notch steak at Landry’s Seafood House. And, yes, Margaritaville makes a decent margarita, Saltgrass Steak House grills a good sirloin, and Yard House pours respectable beer in halfyard glasses.
This is the third of a four-part, every-other-week series covering restaurants on the River Walk. I began with the nine best locally owned spots, then the seven best hotel restaurants and now the chains. To qualify for the series, restaurants have to be on the river, starting at César E. Chávez Boulevard to the south and stopping at Fourth Street to the north.
In two weeks, I’ll rank the Top 10 River Walk restaurants overall. But first, let me show you this tie-dye plastic cocktail shaker I got with my overpriced margarita. Ah, memories.
Fogo de Chão Brazilian Steakhouse
Restaurant prices on the River Walk are going up faster than billionaires’ rocket ships. Put together a few appetizers, some wings and a burger, and you can spend $100, no sweat.
Or you could spend $56.95 ($39.95 at lunch) and get an endless parade of gauchos with steely knives cutting grilled sirloin, lamb chops, bacon-wrapped filet and beef ribs right at your table in a room appointed like a high-dollar steakhouse. The price includes a salad bar with cured meats, cheeses, salads and fruit, and there’s always room for more cheese bread and another caipirinha cocktail.
Ask for the room with towering bay windows that overlook the lagoon by the Shops at Rivercenter. Fogo de Chão is not the best Brazilian steakhouse in the city, but it’s the best (and only) on the River Walk. 849 E. Commerce St., Suite 393, 210-227-1700,
Hard Rock Cafe
It’s not the sensation it was back in the day, a thumping rock club and a museum with memorabilia from people like Selena, ZZ Top and Willie Nelson that happened to serve food. The music’s turned down, and the lights are turned up.
And maybe that’s a good thing, because in the light of day at one of the handful of tables on the broad patio by the river, it’s the food that counts. Count on the Legendary Steak Burger, a pileup of bacon, cheddar and a fried onion ring that’s one of the better burgers on the River Walk.
Barbecued pork ribs are ubiquitous on the River Walk, but these were the best, a neatly trimmed rack with sweet, smoky barbecue sauce and a good balance of fat and lean. 111 W. Crockett St., Suite 120, 210-224-7625, hardrockcafe.com
Landry’s Seafood House
Because even a touristy visit to the River Walk has its dress-up moments, this flagship of the many Landry’s parent company concepts on the river offers a clubby dining room with uniformed waiters and a menu of upscale fish, chops and cocktails. Looking down from its secondfloor perch onto the line of umbrellas
and tables on the river, Landry’s cultivates a baroque New Orleans feel.
Seafood’s right there in the name, but my pick at Landry’s is the Ribeye Valentino, a sophisticated surf-and-turf featuring a 20-ounce bone-in rib-eye seared a perfect medium rare and topped with scallops, shrimp and crab. 517 N. Presa St., 210-229-1010, landrysseafood.com
Margaritaville
If I had to judge by the loud, artificial Jimmy Buffett atmosphere of the ersatz tiki bar inside the restaurant, I’d flee Margaritaville, I’d blow out my flipflop in my haste to escape. But outside by the river, they’ve got a breezy bar that serves the whole menu, plus something that caught me by surprise: a genuinely good margarita.
They call it the Perfect Margarita, and it’s just gold and silver tequilas, triple sec, Curaçao and lime juice. It’s strong and tart and so much better than the limeade that passes for margaritas up and down the river.
The food was better than average, too, especially the gooey, decadent Double Cheeseburger in Paradise and a trio of grilled fish tacos with habanero cream sauce and mango pico de gallo. 849 E. Commerce St., 210-973-5911, margaritavillesanantonio.com
Saltgrass Steak House
Think of Saltgrass as the less ostentatious little brother of Landry’s Seafood House, which is appropriate since they’re part of the same parent company.
The patio out front offers the best of both River Walk worlds: right on the river, but separated from the shambling crowd by a rail and a few feet of elevation.
The Gulf Coast Steak & Shrimp plate offers surf-and-turf that won’t break the bank, with a chubby sirloin steak grilled rare as requested, a quartet of big, garlicky grilled shrimp with a loaded baked potato and a nice salad with housemade blue cheese dressing.
For something different, get the grilled pineapple margarita that goes tropical without getting syrupy. 502 River Walk, 210-2229092, saltgrass.com
Yard House
Straddling the River Walk lagoon at the Shops at Rivercenter, Yard House offers skybox views of the water below. And that view looks even better through a half-yard glass of Yard House’s own Belgian white beer, a tart and yeasty 32 ounces in a towering glass with a bulb at one end and a trumpet at the other, like a clown horn for when you want more.
Beer’s the big draw, with dozens of local, domestic and imported brews on tap. But the food’s a nice companion, especially the angry molten orange Nashville fried chicken breasts, fried crunchy on the outside and juicy on the inside, with chile oil that demands your attention and more beer.
Yard House also makes some respectable tacos, including sweet-hot Korean beef bulgogi and a Vampire Taco with lush carnitas and a fried cheese shell folded inside the tortilla. 849 E. Commerce St., Suite 409, 210-3543844, yardhouse.com