Woman becomes distant after three decade friendship
Dear Abby: I need help moving past the end of a longtime friendship. I don’t know what happened. My friend, my former college roommate, just drifted away.
After school we continued to be friends — not besties, but we would meet for coffee or dinner a few times a year. Fast-forward 25 years. She called me the day she left her husband, 10 years ago, to tell me the news. I was her emotional lifeline for a few days, and it was intense. We continued to be in touch a few times a year.
Then, a few years ago, I sent a message suggesting we meet soon. She replied that she was busy but would get back to me about a date, but she never did. I waited six months and again suggested we meet. She replied that she had a conflict but would let me know a date that would work. She didn’t do it. I didn’t reach out again and haven’t heard from her since. It has been three years, and I know through other sources she is doing well.
I’m having difficulty dealing with being dropped after a 30-year friendship. I can’t think of anything I did to cause it, and I don’t understand how a friendship like that can just be kaput. What do you think?
Disappointed in Washington
Dear Disappointed: I find it interesting that when this woman was in turmoil, she reached out to you. However, after her marriage and the emotional dust-up that surrounded it, I suspect she may have decided to close that chapter of her life.
You stated that the two of you didn’t stay in contact other than “a few times a year.” Think back. Did she contact you only when she needed emotional support? If that’s the case, recognize the relationship for what it was.