LGBT workers also need mentors
The strongest mentoring relationships are based on a shared experience, or affinity, between the mentor and the mentee that establishes trust.
An alum from a university may help a recent graduate navigate entry into the workforce. Senior Black managers often coach entry level Black employees. Female executives help younger women climb the corporate ladder.
A less apparent demographic is the lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender employee. Even with the strides made by the LGBT community, members often find it awkward trying to form bonds with veteran managers that will lead to a successful mentorship.
Having a mentor is critical for professional development, and successful employees are those who can be honest about who they are and how they live their lives in their workplaces.
Kim Langers knows all too well the challenge, and she is doing her best to address it.
Langers is the chief operations officer of the Rastegar Property Co., a Texas real estate investment firm. As a Latina lesbian, she knows first-hand the challenge of finding a footing in business and navigating the poor assumptions and unforgiving stereotypes of others.
“You have to develop a friendship with your mentor,” she told me in an interview. “But I struggled with expressing to them what I experienced with my work, my personal life, and then to continue to be mentored. I think it's holding you back if you can't express your authentic self.”
Langers started her career in supply chain management in Los Angeles. In 2001, there were no women at the location where she worked, let alone anyone who acknowledged they were LGBT. But she was ambitious and asked a lot of questions, eventually finding a mentor.
“It was my first introduction to the workforce, I was around 21 years old, and I still had insecurities,” she said. “There were questions about, ‘Where's your
boyfriend?' A lot of personal questions and I really didn't have anybody to kind of discuss that with.”
She felt alone and isolated.
“I didn't want to be the lesbian in the manufacturing plant,” she added. “Maybe if I would have had somebody that I could speak to, that was similar to me, it would have been a more comfortable transition into the work environment.”
Large companies with more than 500 employees in one location usually have no problem creating employee resource groups where members of a minority can find peers and allies. But in smaller companies, or smaller offices, such groups cannot reach critical mass.
Revealing your sexual identity also can be risky. Texas law allows employers to fire someone for their sexual or gender identity, and many small or medium-sized employers do not have an official policy. Some LGBT employees have no idea what their boss thinks or what he or she might do.
Religious conservatives are lobbying for laws that preserve what they say is their right to discriminate and marginalize members of the LGBT community. Coming out at work remains risky.
LGBT workers who cannot find someone at their firm always can reach out to national organizations and attend conferences to get the support and wisdom they need. But bosses focused on attracting the best, most diverse workforce will find a way to provide helpful coaching, no matter whom they are mentoring.
Langers decided she would work twice as hard as everyone else and maker her performance unassailable. She embraced every new technology as the company introduced it and made herself invaluable.
Now that she's in the C-suite, Langers wants to make sure no one feels as alone as she did. She wants to see everyone have the same access to mentors, no matter their personal backgrounds. Leaders need to make people feel comfortable being themselves to get the highest performance.
“We have to be mindful of our workforce, maybe evaluate it and just be authentic,” she said. “When you're trying to get them to be part of the team and get into our goals, we need them to connect. Diversity can be seen, and we can make that be seen, but inclusion is felt. You want those people to feel included.”
Her biggest piece of advice, though, is for both the mentor and the mentee to listen to each other more.
“Listening is so important at the start of your career and at the end,” Langers said. “As you become more and more in a senior management role — and then when you start your career — I think listening and really taking in when you don't agree is so important.”
Finding a good mentor is difficult, but bosses should be aware that LGBT employees have a special challenge. The more we do to alleviate that extra burden, the better our workforces will perform.