Sitter does not discipline girl when she is pushy

Dear Abby: Because my husband and I work, I take our 6-month-old to a sitter several times a week. I understand little ones tend to be mean sometimes — hitting, biting and pushing — but in this case, it’s a little different.

My sitter cares for her 3-year-old granddaughter as well as her clients’ children, and her granddaughter pushes the littler ones. I have seen her push a 1-year-old down. I have never observed any of the other children do it, only the granddaughter.

I wouldn’t be so worried if my daughter were 2 and could defend herself, but she’s only 6 months old. I’m gravely worried the girl will harm my infant. What can I do to try to resolve this?

Deeply Concerned in the South

Dear Deeply Concerned: Talk to the sitter about your concerns. Ask if it is possible to keep the older girl separate from the younger ones.

Dear Abby: I have been remarried for four years to a wonderful man who treats me like a queen. However, he and my 18-year-old daughter dislike each other, which causes a huge amount of stress and conflict. They fight, and I’m stuck in the middle. I don’t know what I can do to resolve this problem. I love them both with all my heart!

Desperate for Peace

Dear Desperate: Your daughter is no longer 14. At 18, she is now considered to be an adult, and because the “combatants” are both adults, they should act like it. Your mistake has been allowing yourself to be placed in the middle. A better solution would be to get family counseling if your daughter plans to continue to live with you.