Feral cats grieve when their friends die
Dear Cathy,
I am relatively new to being a “cat person” and accepting responsibility for several cats. My first two came together and presented themselves at my back door one morning.
When one of my neighbors died about two years ago, she made arrangements for her two cats to go to another neighbor. Then, unexpectedly, that second neighbor died and had not planned for her two groups of cats. These additional six cats are part of the Trap-neuter-return program and gradually came into the mix over a period of a couple of years.
Since the previous two owners are now deceased, I have taken the six cats and introduced them to my two. The cats all have distinct personalities, likes and dislikes, and variations of tolerance of each other. They are one big, happy, family now with me.
I have lost one cat to being struck by a car on our street. And as I think about inevitable future losses to illness or accident, I wonder what the most helpful approach would be for the remaining cats when the next one dies. Some of my cats have paired up and seem to look out for each other.
Do cats miss other cats when one leaves the group? Do they eventually get over the loss? Do they mourn as I know I will when one of my cats dies or gets lost? If a cat dies, should I put him in a place where the other cats can smell him and see that he is no longer living?
Rob
Dear Rob,
Kudos to you for taking care of your neighbor’s feral/community cats. I don’t know many people like you who would step up and help like this after not just one but two neighbors have died.
You bring up true but sad points about the fate of outdoor cats. Whether domesticated or feral, outdoor cats don’t live as long as indoor cats. They are at risk of being hit by cars, getting injured or sick, or succumbing to extreme weather conditions.
Both domesticated and feral cats do make friends with other cats. When there are two besties that hang out together, they are referred to as bonded pairs, and they can mourn greatly if their friend dies. Feral cats that are mourning may look sad, skip regular feedings, be more quiet than normal and appear to be looking for their friend, according to Sherry Derdak, president of the San Antonio Feral Cat Coalition.
I don’t know of the value of letting a cat sniff their deceased friend. But one important way you can help feral/community cats cope with loss is to spend more time with them.
Derdak says feral cats grow accustomed to their caretaker’s presence and enjoy hearing their voice. So talking to them more may help if one is suffering from grief.