Reader needs to discover if gift from boss was lost

Dear Miss Manners: My boss is extremely generous and thoughtful. He really enjoys remembering staff birthdays, hiring anniversaries and holidays with generous gifts and bonuses.

Last summer, after several years with the business, I resigned from my position to care full-time for my ailing parents. The timing was difficult, as our business was heavily impacted by the coronavirus and related staffing issues. I agreed to stay on part-time until my replacement started.

My hiring anniversary and my resignation date coincided. In our farewell, my boss said he was sending a gift to me to recognize both. It has been a few months. Nothing ever arrived.

I realize in the chaos and stress at work, he may have just forgotten, although that’s uncharacteristic for him. I am worried that he thinks I received something and did not acknowledge it.

I feel rude asking about it, but also want him to know if something he paid for never arrived. Common sense tells me to let it go, but it occasionally nags at me. Do I have a responsibility to notify him of the unreceived gift?

Gentle Reader: Your common sense has led you astray.

The concern — and it is a serious one — is not whether your former boss got value for his money, or the reputation of the postal service. The issue is your own reputation: You do not want him to think that you are rude or that when you left the job, you severed all future relations.

You cannot ask what happened to your gift, but nothing stops you from penning a letter updating him on your life and thanking him for his many kindnesses. If he did send a present, then the absence of any mention in such a long letter will make him wonder if it arrived.