Sunny personality turns dark in wake of a miscarriage

Dear Abby: My husband and I suffered a miscarriage five months ago, in the 12th week. I’m still not doing well. I have put on a facade to get by, but I’m just starting to realize how deeply this is affecting my life.

I used to be a happy, friendly person. Always a smile on my face and laughter to be shared and hugs for my loved ones. Since the miscarriage, I put on a fake smile and try to be who I once was, but I can’t keep doing it.

Every day there is a moment from that day or the aftermath that floods my mind. I’m angry, bitter, mad at the unfairness, and I no longer have compassion or sympathy for others.

This isn’t me. I don’t want to be this way. My happiness has been replaced with tears and sadness. The hopefulness is replaced by emptiness. I’m very lost, and I don’t know how to get out of this funk.

I no longer want to try to get pregnant again because the fear of the physical and emotional pain of another miscarriage has me paralyzed.

Any advice you might give would be greatly appreciated.

Broken in Missouri

Dear Broken: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your child. Your depression and the fear you have about another pregnancy are not unusual after a tragedy like the one you have experienced. You are grieving, and the emotions you are feeling are to be expected.

Please schedule an appointment with your OB/ GYN and tell your doctor about all of these feelings, because the doctor can refer you to someone who can help you work through this. It will take time, but I assure you it is doable.