Sister gives up on divorce after getting pregnant

Dear Carolyn: My sister is married to a guy who is great on paper, but just doesn’t seem great for her. We (brother, parents, me) all have done our best to accept her decision on a spouse, but our relationship with him was always just cordial. She complained frequently that he belittles her, disrespects her, ignores her, emotionally manipulates her and is dishonest about major life issues. She became less confident in herself, and less fun.

Recently, she said she would be seeking a divorce and we responded enthusiastically (maybe too much so?). We lauded her for being brave. Then, Sister finds out she is pregnant, Husband apologizes and everything is suddenly sunshine and rainbows.

While they were separated, sister told us a lot about her husband that is truly awful. Now, she expects us to wholeheartedly support their marriage and pending offspring. The problem is, I don’t. There is not a huge likelihood I will ever trust him again or be friends with him. I think she was shocked into staying in a loveless marriage. I have told her as much, directly, and she has said we need to “support” her.

Is this no longer any of my business? Or does she need a balance to the false narrative.

I Just Want to Pry

You’re as entitled to your integrity here as you are anywhere else.

So I suggest a forthright kind of support. “I can’t unhear what you told me about Husband and your marriage. I also completely, 100%, respect your right to live your life as you choose. And I can have an open mind. So here’s my last word on this: I am rooting for all of you, and here for you and the baby, always, no questions asked.”