American values and LGBTQ rights go hand in hand

As the proud mother of a transgender child, I’ve felt a wide range of emotions in the past month. On the one hand, I’ve felt elation following President Joe Biden’s executive orders on LGBTQ nondiscrimination measures and the anti-transgender military ban — but I’ve also seen harmful, misguided and uneducated conversations about antitransgender legislation percolate through the statehouse in Texas, where I live.

I thought Texas lawmakers had learned a lesson years ago from the intense pressure they faced against a proposed ban on trans people from using the restroom. Yet even now, they’re charging forward on exclusionary bills, including Bathroom Bill 3.0. One such bill would go so far as to deem me a perpetrator of child abuse for supporting my child’s transgender identity.

These bills in Texas are a relic of the past and don’t reflect where we are as a country. Americans have opened their hearts and minds to transgender people, and it’s well past time that we move away from shameful exclusion and toward the inclusive promise of comprehensive nondiscrimination legislation. While LGBTQ Americans in many states, including Texas, lack these protections, I hope that soon, leaders in Washington will address this major gap. I urge our U.S. Sens. Ted Cruz and John Cornyn to support bipartisan federal LGBTQ nondiscrimination protections.

I’ve been a conservative the majority of my life. For decades, I voted Republican all the way down the ticket. I served as president of the College Republicans, and my husband is the son of a Baptist minister. We raised our children with conservative values. For all of these reasons and more, I’m definitely not what most folks in San Antonio expect a fierce LGBTQ ally to look like. Yet here I am, because the greatest responsibility I have is to protect my children. When my son told me he is transgender, I endured a personal and existential reckoning with my own identity that forced me to confront the false narratives I allowed myself to believe. I opened my eyes to the challenges that LGBTQ people face. My awakening was admittedly a slow process. Our son Reid came out when he was 13. At first, I thought it was “just a phase.” I was isolated and in denial for a good while — unwilling to truly hear what Reid was saying, and certainly unable to tell my family or friends at church what we were going through. I finally decided that I wasn’t willing to lose a child over anything. So I started educating myself.

Through independent research, conversations with transgender people, and a great deal of support from professionals and groups who work with the LGBTQ community, I learned that being LGBTQ is normal. The science is there. Discrimination is wrong and disenfranchises our community.

My son’s job right now is to focus on being young. As his mom, my job is to protect his future. I’ve learned that my superpower is in my story, and my privilege can open doors that get people at the table. So I’ve been knocking on as many doors as I can, and I won’t stop until he has been afforded the protections he deserves, not simply because he’s trans but because he is human.

My son is healthier than ever before, our whole family is happier, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. But discriminatory laws and policies affect us every day. Our health care benefits do not cover transrelated care.

We have spent roughly $30,000 out of pocket for transrelated care — medical and mental health. Reid doesn’t use the restroom at school. It’s been so difficult to get his ID changed to reflect his actual gender that he has to carry a letter from his therapist everywhere he goes.

We spent $3,000 for legal representation to amend his official birth certificate, which is still in the courts. He wants to get a job, but without an amended birth certificate, he might face employment discrimination that I can’t protect him from. These injustices hurt people. These injustices hurt families. These injustices hurt entire communities.

From one parent to another, I implore Cruz and Cornyn to take action on this critically important issue. By doing so, they would be living their values: As Americans, we agree that everyone should have the freedom and opportunity to work hard, earn a living and be able to provide for their families and contribute to their communities. Those aren’t just conservative values — they’re American values. Let’s put them into practice.