Widower fears his impotence will kill new relationship

Dear Abby: I am a faithful male reader of your column. I lost my beautiful wife of 40 years last year.

During our marriage, I had prostate cancer and decided to have the surgery to remove it. I was told by my doctor that there was a chance I would never again be intimate with my wife, and she was OK with it. Now that she’s gone, I have grown close to her childhood best friend. I don’t know whether a relationship is in the making, but I’m afraid once she finds out I’m unable to perform, the relationship will die. Is it possible to have a good relationship with someone without intercourse? Or do you think I’m doomed?

Going Forward in Virginia

Dear Going: I do NOT think you are “doomed.” Many women would value warmth, affection, compatible ethics and morals and an intellectual equal to share their life with. So be honest, and you may be pleasantly surprised to discover that not only are you eligible, but that you are also in demand.

Dear Abby: I have a co-worker who just built a house. When I asked her what she would like for a housewarming gift, she told me a nice wine carafe with a stopper. So that’s exactly what I got her.

I recently found out she had a housewarming party, and I wasn’t invited. I had asked her when it was going to be, and she didn’t mention a word about it.

Am I still obligated to give her the gift I got for her? Or should I write her off and give it to someone else?

Excluded in Corpus Christi

Dear Excluded: Ouch! Write her off and regift it.