Estranged father now harassing his adult daughter

Dear Carolyn: My dad and I have been estranged since I was 18. He left my mom when I was 12, after cheating for years, which I was aware of because he brought the woman around when my mom was working. He threatened me constantly that if I told her, I would be responsible for my mom dying (she had a heart condition).

After he married my stepmother, visiting them was horrible. My stepsister, and stepmother on occasion, used to say the cruelest things to me about my looks, my weight, lack of friends and boyfriends — and when I told my dad, he’d just say they were right. When I left for college, I stopped trying and avoided him and his awful family.

This year, my dad started sending me constant messages demanding to talk and clear up this petty [stuff]. I texted him saying I want no contact ever, and then blocked him everywhere, but he has been creating multiple accounts to bypass this and fool me. He even uses my elderly grandmother to send me letters, and just seeing his handwriting on the envelopes can ruin my day, but my grandmother won’t stop giving them to me.

I just want him to understand I don’t want to see him, and respect that and leave me alone. What do I do?

Need Help

Wow. It’s time to find out what legal recourse you have against this harassment. If you have the means, then start the process of getting an attorney. Local resources for domestic-violence prevention are a good place to start to find the names of lawyers who handle cases like yours. Chat with Carolyn online at 11 a.m. each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.