Beau undergoes sudden changes in his behavior

Dear Abby: A few months ago, I started dating a widower. He is a really great guy, and he seems perfect for me. I’m divorced, and my adult children live in other states. We have many shared interests and have a lot of fun together.

I noticed early on that he is very emotional, but occasionally, he seems to have manic episodes where he works himself nearly to death, doesn’t eat or sleep much and then abruptly leaves. When we talk afterward, he picks on me for really trivial — or untrue — things. I know bipolar disorder isn’t simple to diagnose, and I don’t think this issue has ever come up with him. I just wonder if this relationship has a chance.

His first marriage ended in divorce, and his children want nothing to do with him. Evidently, his second marriage was good, but she died last year. His youngest son is in college. My self-esteem isn’t tied to this. I enjoy his company 95% of the time, and I think I love him. I don’t plan to ever remarry and neither does he. I don’t think he is dangerous, but I am a no-drama type, so I’m wondering if I should let him go, even though it would be hard to do.

Seeing Signs in Michigan

Dear Seeing Signs: If what you have written is accurate, you have seen this man only during his “highs” — but not during his lows. Because bipolar illness can be treated, IF the person is willing to admit they “may” have a problem, it would be wise to discuss this with him when he’s in a normal phase and suggest that he be screened. If he refuses, then might be the time to rationally (rather than emotionally) decide whether to let him go. Contact Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.