Family pressures sister to find a romantic partner

Dear Carolyn: My little sister is in her late 20s and has never been in a relationship. She seems content with her life, has a great job, interesting hobbies, traveled when it was possible, and owns her own home. Overall she’s doing better than many people her age, including most of our cousins.

My family, though, is very pushy about her single status, and getting worse. She constantly gets harassed by some busybody aunt or uncle but our parents are the worst. They desperately want her to get married and have children. The day she settled on her house, they ruined the mood by saying she should have waited until she got married.

My sister takes it all in stride, but as they get more insistent, she gets visibly uncomfortable. I’ve asked her if she wants me to tell them to shut up and she says no — probably because I tend to be blunt and she doesn’t want me to cause a rift.

I have asked the more outspoken family members individually to leave her alone. They say they’re just worried and only want her to be happy. They refuse to acknowledge that she IS happy.

The last thing I want is to make my sister more uncomfortable by telling the older people at the next family gathering to shut up and mind their own business. Any suggestions?

Blunt

This is so infuriating.

And I’m sorry you asked her first about speaking up, because it ties your hands more than the circumstances warrant. As a witness, it would be your prerogative entirely to note — in the moment — how self-absorbed these comments are.