Reminders of dead friends linger on social media sites

Dear Miss Manners: So far this year, I have lost five friends, all of whom had social media accounts. Some of them have surviving loved ones who now post in their memory, but the others don’t. Either way, the social media site keeps reminding me about their birthdays.

It feels rude to “unfriend” someone who has died, but it also seems wrong to wish them a happy birthday if they have passed away. What to do?

Gentle Reader: Without wading into a debate on the merits of virtual friendship, Miss Manners feels secure in saying that if you are not close enough to certain friends to know if they are alive, you do not need to wish them a happy birthday.

Dear Miss Manners: Is it impolite not to answer the door when a stranger knocks?

I answered the door for someone who was likely a scammer; I declined their offer and thanked them for their time. I later related the story to some people who said I should unequivocally never open the door for strangers.

This seems a bit silly to me, as I can think of many scenarios where talking to strangers can be beneficial. (Girl Scout cookies, anyone?) Is there a way to deter solicitors without being off-putting?

Gentle Reader: Solicitors are not easily deterred. Etiquette does not require you to answer the door to a stranger who wants to sell you something. That some will disagree does not convince Miss Manners she is wrong, it merely causes her to advise against being too obvious about it. That is, hiding under the bed is not required, but disapproving stares from the window are discouraged. Please send questions for Miss Manners to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com