Colleague takes advantage of boss’ kindness and treats

Dear Miss Manners: My supervisor at work occasionally buys coffee for our small department. It is a nice gesture, and she pays out of her pocket.

One of my co-workers, however, makes a habit of not only requesting the most expensive options, but also several food items. She encourages all of our co-workers to order additional items, as well.

I believe my supervisor has begun to feel that she is being taken advantage of. Is there a tactful way for me to approach my co-worker, or should I leave the situation alone?

Gentle Reader: Leaving it alone is less likely to get you in trouble, but Miss Manners suspects what you really want to know is how to intervene.

“Did you realize that she’s buying this out of her own pocket? The company doesn’t reimburse her,” you might say. “That’s so nice of her.”

Dear Miss Manners: A woman of my acquaintance whom I see socially from time to time is hosting a belated wedding celebration for her daughter. She has asked me if three out-oftown guests might stay in my house, pointing out that I could charge them for their stay. I am not in need of money and have no interest in sharing my home with complete strangers, even for a few days. What is the least awkward way to tell this woman that I’m declining to host her guests?

Gentle Reader: The most polite answer is, “I’m so sorry, but I can’t.”

Miss Manners is unable to say what will be least awkward with someone whose idea of social grace is to billet her friends on a stranger — and then suggest bilking those friends.