THE FINALISTS

“No, ‘book club’ actually means something quite different.”

Phil Pryde, San Carlos

“OK, boomer.”

Tucker Brockhoff, Cardiff

“Electrolysis may not be your only problem.” Michael Lomazow, Riverside

“No shirt, no shoes, no service.” Judith Massey, Coronado

“California isn’t an open-carry state. You need to leave your club outside.”

Brian Luscomb, San Elijo Hills

“I’m sorry, sir. Nothing in the stacks on manscaping.”

Jennifer Roberts, San Diego

“Books by Og? Did you mean Ogden as in Nash?”

Kevin Donohue, San Diego

“Let me get this straight: You can’t return the paleo diet cookbook because you ate it?”

Gordy Dunfee, online submission

“Thank you for your inquiry, but I am already married.”

Pamela Mccormick, Oceanside

“I’m sorry, but ‘third cave up on the east side of Mount Mckinley’ is not an acceptable address for your library card application.” Malcolm Jarvis, San Diego

“Auditions for the GEICO commercial ended in 2004.” Rodney Wayne, San Diego

“You say you’re looking for the ‘lowbrow’ section?” Noah Mationg, Imperial Beach

“Might I recommend Darwin’s ‘On the Origin of Species’?” Tony Cannon, Carlsbad

“Sorry, sir, that book was just checked out by a F. Flintstone.” Marsha Ruiz, Lakeside

“Well, the meaning of ‘clubbing’ has really changed in recent years. Can you give me a different term to search?” Lauren Babb, South Park

“Gary, I think you’re taking this casual Friday thing too far.” Evan Ridpath, Carlsbad