ADOPTING OUR SONS HAS BEEN A BLESSING

Tiffany and Mike Norris

The truth is a lot is happening in the hostile and chaotic world we live in today. For us, the best way that we know how to combat negativity is with love. We always knew we wanted to be parents. We didn’t realize that our path to parenthood would happen by taking a less-traveled road. Adoption comes after careful consideration, intentional conversation and preparation time. After much deliberation, this has been the most rewarding decision for us.

We made our way to San Diego after three years of marriage and living in the Midwest for most of our lives. We had been trying to start a family since we married in 2010, and in 2013, it felt like a transition to California better met our long-term plans. We fell in love with San Diego after visiting family and being so connected to everything that makes this a remarkable city. Being an interracial couple, we loved the diversity and the opportunity to branch out and potentially have our children grow up in this environment. We weren’t exactly sure what our next steps would be in starting a family, so we focused on our careers first. Once we felt like we were ready, we began the fertility process and became pregnant twice but later miscarried. The heartache that comes with this process is unimaginable, and we definitely spent time in a space of grief, but we have always had a fantastic network of support. We are forever grateful for our friends and family who helped us endure those trying times.

We decided to look into adoption and spoke with friends who had done private adoptions and with nonprofit agencies about fostering to adopt. We knew that if we agreed on the fostering-toadopt route, the children would have some challenges, so we wanted to learn more about what that entailed. We attended an informational meeting for potential foster parents and quickly realized the process’ intensity. After going through all the training we needed, we decided to welcome a single or sibling group of two with open arms. A few weeks after we completed our training, we received a call about the two boys who would eventually be our forever babies.

We adopted our two sons after hearing their story and realizing their urgency to be cared for and loved. We had the opportunity to meet them after a brief conversation and ended up agreeing almost immediately to be their forever home. The challenging part about fostering to adopt is that the children in these situations can come from some of the most harmful and unhealthy environments and need to be explicitly taught about what love truly is. That is not an easy task for anyone, no matter how much love you have to give.

Our sons were very hesitant about what a family was despite countless reminders that we promised to be their safe space. Nothing they experienced in their past was deserved or welcomed, and providing them safety above anything else became our priority. We have been blessed to have had over four years together and have begun establishing family memories that are slowly overcoming their recollections of the negative experiences from their past. Our privilege as parents has not been easy, but it has been more rewarding than any other decision we could have ever made.

There are many other children here in California in similar situations to the one our sons were in, and if we could help them all, we would. Our boys have asked us to adopt more children so that we can provide the same life for them that our sons have now. That might be the most rewarding request we have received as parents. If you have a heart for children and can provide a loving home, fostering to adopt just might be for you. These children are waiting for a forever home with parents who offer love, compassion, empathy and a willingness to make a difference. We are so grateful to Walden Family Services for helping us create our forever family.

NORRIS FAMILY