YOUR SAY: HOLIDAY PLANNING Pay attention to the moment at hand
We asked: With the holiday season approaching and the pandemic showing no signs of abating, how do you and your family and friends plan to connect and celebrate while keeping yourselves and others safe?
As 2020 winds down, I have begun to identify my takeaways from this year of “big things.” Global pandemic with more than 250,000 American lives lost? An inconceivable thing. Crumbling economy and unprecedented unemployment? Really big things. Racial inequality? A divided nation? Overwhelming things that feel too big to get our arms around.
After nearly a year of struggling with all these things on a daily, if not hourly, basis, we have an election outcome that signals a return to decency, honesty and transparency. An extraordinarily hopeful thing.
And now, just when we thought it was safe to take a cleansing breath, COVID-19 has risen, like the horror movie monster it is, smack in the middle of the holiday season. No rest for the weary or the anxious. The holidays are a particularly stressful time for most of us under “normal” circumstances. What to do, what to do?
Not long ago, mindfulness — the practice of purposely bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment — was all the rage. Not your average philosophy du jour, its roots are found in major religions like Buddhism. I wonder, though, how many of us have employed mindfulness to stay upright amid all the things that clobbered us this year? Admittedly, I haven’t really thought about thinking about now until now.
Typically, November launches my holiday planning in earnest. This year seems slightly less frantic and yet much more important than Christmases past. As always, I’m determined to find the perfect gifts at the lowest prices. I’ll decorate the house more robustly than usual and we’ll host small, family-only celebrations. The price of admission for all guests will be evidence of a pre-arrival negative test and daily temperature checks. We’ll dine al fresco with patio heaters and use my best plastic dinnerware.
My last-minute checklist will change a bit. Did we invite the neighbors? Scratch that. Will our stockpile of anti-bacterial wipes hold out? What do we do if someone coughs at the dinner table?
Problem is, research tells us that the more we multi-task, the less efficient we become. We have learned to function in a constant state of partial attention. Maybe that’s come in handy this year, but on a regular basis, it’s not ideal. Sad to think, especially during the holidays, that we all experience a mere fraction of our lives. So now what?
I am going to pay more attention to the laughter and lighthearted conversations (how ’bout those Padres?) as well as the deep and reflective ones. Take in all the sights and the sounds, the smells and the tastes of the day. I crave some ballast against all the big things we’ve navigated this year. I vow to pay attention to the little things. I’m going to be fully present, not allowing the myriad trials of 2020 to rule the day.
Yes, mindfulness takes practice. But what better time to start than marking the end of the longest, most exhausting year of our lives?
My family has managed to steer clear of the coronavirus thus far, a fact we will certainly celebrate. So, too, we will acknowledge the 1.3 million COVID-19-related deaths worldwide and know that we are truly fortunate to be healthy and whole, and together.
a mask. Maybe a face shield and hope for a vaccine soon.
My wife and are currently planning a trip to our cabin in Mount Laguna with our son, his wife and two daughters. But while they will spend the evenings in the cabin, my wife and I will use our Roadtrek camper. And we will have our Thanksgiving meal outdoors in the woods. As the old song ends, “Now Grandmother’s cap I spy. Hooray for the fun. Is the pudding done? Hooray for the pumpkin pie!”
Ron Carrico, Mission Hills