Nick Canepa’s Chargers report card
Quarterbacks
AJustin Herbert steered the Ambulance Chasers (four players called up from the practice squad) without his two most productive receivers against a green defense toasted brown under playoff protocol. Found shifty giant Donald Parham Jr. early for a TD, then Austin Ekeler and Mike Williams. Jalen Guyton dropped a long one and Herbert missed him on another. Stopped short of a score on a run, then snuck one in. More records set.
Running backs B+
Everybody but Paul Lowe played. Ekeler ran some, caught a TD pass then left concussed. Joshua Kelley matadored a block, leading to a sack. Justin Jackson, running well, had a nice catch and 32-yard spurt off a screen, a 2-point catch and a 34-yard run to the 1, which Kalen Ballage converted.
Receivers
Keenan Allen and Hunter Henry taking their 160 catches worth 1,605 yards into the offseason, Herbert cooked with leftovers. Guyton dropped an easy very long touchdown. Stephen Anderson is a TE find. Parham, the 6-8 power forward TE, is an established find, with skills after the catch, as he showed scoring. Williams had to do something, and did (drew an end zone PI and had a 48-yard score).
Offensive line CRT
Bryan “Bandage” Bulaga, who played in 10 games (and took a total of 47 snaps in 4 of those), missed another. Storm Norton started at LT, with Trey Pipkins for Bulaga. They were up against Chiefs surrogates and allowed back-to-back sacks.
Defensive line D+
Had trouble with the Blocking StandIns. Concussed Joey Bosa again was absent, as he should have been. Isaac “Rochell” Rochell got a sack for a safety. Linval Joseph grabbed a facemask shortly after leaving the hotel. Jerry Tillery jumped offside as if poked with a sword.
Linebackers D
Unfortunately, Denzel Perryman tried but couldn’t make every tackle (he had a big fourth-down stop, later got decleated). Nick Vigil lost in coverage on TD.
Secondary
I (Incapacitated)
Missing two safeties (Rayshawn Jenkins and Jahleel Addae) and corner Casey Hayward and were down to 5 DBs late. Alohi “HelloGoodbye” Gilman started for Hayward and got concussed. Really. Tevaughn Campbell gave up a TD early. Chad Henne made them wish Patrick Mahomes started. Coverage bad and tackling worse.
Special teams
Allowed a 44-yard return on the opening kickoff, later a 31-yarder. Joe Reed recovered a muffed punt, leading to a TD.
Coaching
NS (No Sweat)
Anthony Lynn won himself an exhibition game. Now to see if he can win the hearts of The Spanoses in today’s summit meeting. Coaching this one didn’t require a football Ph.D.
Next opportunity (Unknown)
We may know more today. It’s easy for them to screw things up when they have nothing much to do. But there is so much to do, from coaching, in-house personnel decisions, injuries, free agency and drafting, finding a way to make $1 rent payments. Don’t know how they eradicate yearly health problems to good players.