Our great experiment requires a lot of work

Many will blame President Donald Trump, and we should. But how many of us will blame ourselves — you and me? Folks, it is time for some serious introspection as we begin to reflect on why we have witnessed the first-ever physically violent interruption of transition of power in our country. We are all complicit in this historic assault on the Constitution and our way of life.

Now I am not saying you and I overtly incited violence. Nor am I saying that we each haven’t done something positive for our democracy in the meantime. I am not saying you or I violated our oaths as citizens.

But I am saying that the fractures in our democracy are deep, and the repairs start with you and me.

If you’ve stopped reading this because you think you are blameless or do not like to consider how you may have done something wrong or could do something better, well — thanks for making my point.

The truth is we have all gotten into bad habits for democracy. And fixing this means we have to reset what we do day-to-day when we interact with our fellow Americans. It starts with you and me.

When I saw the photos of the folks who stormed the Capitol, I immediately thought they were nothing like me and deserved no respect. But when I saw that the one woman who was killed in this assault happens to be from San Diego and a veteran like me, I had to pause.

I realized my bad habit. I had previously assumed I had nothing in common with these folks, and of course, I would never associate with them. But shutting these people out of my life and ignoring them would be the easy thing to do, another bad habit. The social media world exploded with people saying, “If you ever voted for Trump, unfriend me now.”

I’m just going to say it — that is stupid. Darn it. Wait. I just showed you another bad habit of mine. Did I need to be insulting just now? I probably could have exercised some forbearance. It makes me also think: Was I right to make similar, inflammatory remarks in the privacy of my home to describe some elected leaders I don’t like? Absolutely not!

It starts with you and me.

To my friends who said something like that on social media or said something disparaging in private, I don’t think you’re stupid.

If you are a friend of mine who I just offended, it is time for you to forgive me. And it’s time for you, too, to own up to your bad habit, however small it may be. And I will forgive you.

You and I should be the example for our leaders. And with self-accountability and mutual understanding, we can start to shore up the cracks in our shared foundation as Americans.

It’s like flossing everyday or getting to the gym regularly. We all have to work at it regularly to make humankind’s greatest experiment — this union — more perfect everyday.

It starts with you and me and our daily habits for democracy.

Haney Hong is president and CEO of the San Diego County Taxpayers Association. He lives in La Mesa.