WE MUST REMAIN VIGILANT AND KEEP PUSHING FORWARD
We are in the fourth month of the new year and there is a feeling of hope mixed with anxiety as the new vaccines have arrived but have not yet erased the unpredictability about what our future holds. By now, most of us have spent more than a full year in quarantine, watching our favorite restaurants turn into camping grounds with tents in parking lots, some closing their doors for good and others holding onto hope as if it were the string of a balloon to stay afloat.
I’ve watched COVID-19 testing sites crop up in unexpected places that were once my go-to for an escape from it all, such as the beach, somewhere I’d normally head so I could temporarily avoid reminders of the pandemic. Now, though, I feel some of the same “in your face” feelings I felt the first time I stepped foot outside of my home to find myself in a variation of “The Twilight Zone” as those who crossed my path protected their faces with masks and other coverings.
I decided to immerse myself in my creative pursuits to pause the spinning globe of the pandemic, which at times feels comparable to a Netflix series, one with several seasons as this past year has opened up its own Pandora’s box.
The “virtual insanity” of our lives has left all of us trying to find a way to unplug and go within to find a place of peace. The physically inclined have found working out to be on the top of their list while creative people have turned to writing, painting or art. I’ve spent the first three months of this year revising a novel I’ve been working on so that I could avoid all of the detrimental distractions, and so writing has become my version of human “blinkers” (or blinders, as some may call them) as I raced towards the safe space of the bubble I wanted to create.
I dodged the news with the same energy I had as a kid running from being “it” while playing tag to prevent my focus from withering and to be mindful of maintaining my inner peace. But once I decided to rejoin the “real world” and the “human race,” I found myself peeking cautiously from behind the theater curtains of the world stage to find a full house, each seat of the audience filled with current events with the face of COVID-19 sitting front and center as I stepped forward towards the spotlight to parody “living” — to act out my assigned role as “myself ” in my usual day to day routines.
There are difficult days still, and I imagine if my feelings had a voice you would hear the timeless track “Show Me How to Live” from the iconic band Audioslave. There is a nudging realization that we are all trying to survive while finding moments to live in between. I am reminded of the game hot potato I played in childhood, wondering if I will be next with every allergy and ache and pain.
If we are players on the world’s stage, as Shakespeare wrote, we all have our exits and entrances.
I grab my mask as I leave my home with the same urgency people have when realizing they must not forget their cell phone or wallet, only now on some days I grab two masks, to ensure I have an added layer of protection, acknowledging the recommendations from the CDC in the background of my mind feeling my thoughts grow weary with tension. I can only breathe correctly through one nostril due to an accident in my youth and yet I still wear my mask and without complaint not only for myself but for humanity.
When I have watched others carelessly in an act of defiance refuse to wear one indoors, I cannot help but feel a sting of annoyance as I understand the irritating emotions that accompany this nuisance in the age of the new abnormal we all have had to adjust to. When you lose a member of your family to a disease that can be prevented by one simple action, you cross the line from observing the pandemic on the screen of your television to watching it unfold before your eyes and being among those truly affected by it. We must continue to remain vigilant and push forward in hopes of better days that are set to come. To quote John Lennon, “Everything will be OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end.”