DISTANCE LEARNING HELPED ME LEARN MORE ABOUT MYSELF
Fueled with uncertainty, a daily dose of three hours of sleep and over 14 hours of daily screen time, I am proud to say that I have successfully prevailed in my virtual last year of high school.
It feels like yesterday when the stay-at-home order was declared. I was just a junior, eager for spring break and dreading the AP test season afterward. I am now a senior, curious about where my future will take me and whether or not I will start my first semester of college in-person. On my last day in school last year, I remember doing my AP Physics test corrections when my teacher said that it would probably be the last time we’d see each other. Initially, I thought he was just joking around and saying goodbye to the graduating class. I never thought it would escalate to the entire world trying to figure out how to live in the new normal.
Distance learning may seem very straightforward, so I did not anticipate the complexities that came along with it.
I’ve never felt such high-strung emotions over the most mundane school tasks. I was only used to nervousness prior to taking a test or doing an oral presentation. The anxiety of wondering whether I submitted on time or not. The laziness of moving to sit down on a table and opting to go about the school day on my bed. The frustration of navigating all the educational platforms we use, wishing that someone invented an all-around secure, user-friendly and organized resource that made it easy for both teachers and students to use. I find myself praying that my WiFi does not fail on me when I have to join the link to my next class call.
With the desire and dedication to stay on top of my tasks, I also felt like I was falling 10 steps behind. I hated the fact that I felt guilty for resting or indulging in my hobbies instead of being productive to accomplish a school-related task — maybe I should have started on the book notes last night instead of watching the newest episode of that anime I like. I knew that it would benefit me in the long run, but it was a gamble of figuring out if I should listen to what my body wanted — to work or to rest. It was difficult to take the advice of “taking it day by day” when the only thing I could think of was being hard on myself for my choices.
The most difficult part of distance learning was staying motivated. The change in learning environment took a huge toll on my energy. I was so used to walking around my school and interacting with my teachers and classmates in the day while still having energy to grab boba or hang out with my friends in the late afternoon. Now, I can barely tolerate having three classes that consist of 45 minutes of synchronous work and 45 minutes of asynchronous work a day.
I believe my lack of motivation is due to the fact that all my peers are also experiencing the same circumstance, desperately trying to get through the year without the support system of teachers and classmates. I definitely miss making memories with them — I took for granted all the days I spent on campus. I wish I had more time to build connections with my teachers, as the 45 minutes we have on call are strictly for class-related matters, with the occasional tangent about our personal lives. I miss all the shenanigans my classmates and I would get into, all the special in-class references and jokes, along with the special circles of friend that I’ve formed.
However, distance learning enabled me to learn more about myself and what I am capable of.
I finally figured out what worked best for me, after constant trial and error with how I tackled my responsibilities as a student and a leader. I learned to prioritize and become practical with my time and work ethic. I learned that I was adaptable and willing to go the extra mile for the best solution. I strived for greatness, a satisfying and empowering feeling when I achieved the balance I was looking for.
Although my last year in high school could have gone better, I would not trade the lessons and experiences I obtained from this new method of learning. It is one for the books.
With the desire and dedication to stay on top of my tasks, I also felt like I was falling 10 steps behind.