HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO GO BACK TO CAMPUS MONDAY
Before San Diego Unified schools reopened Monday, I would set my alarm for 8:15 a.m. at night and when my phone went off the next morning, I would press snooze and give myself a few more minutes to sleep. This would happen a few times before I finally rolled out of bed at 8:45 ... for an 8:50 a.m. class.
Without wasting any time getting dressed, brushing my hair or eating breakfast, I would race to my desk (approximately 5 feet from my bed) and throw open my laptop. After spending a good bit of time trying to connect to the internet, I would finally log on to my first-period class, camera off, around 8:53 a.m. After four hours of classes, I would walk back to my bed and lie down, giving myself some “me time” as a reward for minimal participation in the day’s Zooms. Occasionally I would think about what school used to be like: trudging through four 90-minute classes one day and a different four the next, with barely enough time to finish all of my homework. I would still struggle with getting my homework done, but I only took two classes a day and my total time spent in a live class was a little over half of what I used to do. Either way, I ended and still end every day extremely tired out and stressed. But that’s high school, right?
I am a junior this year, and I think the general consensus is that yeah, junior year sucks. Our classes are hard, our homework load is huge, and, on top of that, suddenly there is external pressure from everywhere to start planning for the future. I think junior year of high school is always difficult, but this year is different. This past year, instead of slogging through school carrying a heavy backpack with friends feeling equally overwhelmed, we spent the 10 minutes between Zoom classes stressed out — and alone. Instead of busy lunches that always seemed to end too quickly, all of us ate lunch at home, totally alone.
That is why when my school gave us the option to stay fully online or go back in a hybrid model, I decided to go back.
I do not expect to learn more in person than I did online because there is always too much content to cover in too little time. I do not expect my in-person school days to be memorable social experiences. But I went back because it will bring some sort of normalcy back into my life. Last year, when the whole world seemed to turn upside down on a random Friday in March, the idea of a normal high school experience (whatever that means) got taken away from almost every high schooler in the U.S. So I want normal — and the most normal thing I can think of is, well, school.
I am looking forward to navigating the difficulties of junior year side by side with my classmates. I am looking forward to showing my teachers that there are actual students behind all of the black screens who appreciate what they do. I look forward to moving on and approaching conversations about the future with the hope that it might actually be better.
After a year of limited social interaction plus the combination of normal and pandemic stress, I have decided to mask up, tighten my backpack straps and head back to school in person — at least for two days a week.
I am looking forward to navigating junior year side by side with my classmates, to showing my teachers that there are actual students behind all of the black screens who appreciate what they do.
Castiglione