Be advised: Don’t dangle your participles in public

DEAR RICHARD: Plucked from a recent headline in the Union-Tribune: “Rare corpse flower is set to bloom again / Despite smelling like rotting flesh, thousands visited during last cycle in 2018.” I wish those visitors had bathed!

—Bill Griffiths, Rancho San Diego DEAR RICHARD: I thought you might like to add to your collection this marvelous misplaced modifier in a U-T article celebrating the reopening of the Balboa Park carousel: “The girl was on a wooden giraffe, clad in pink Crocs a pink tutu, a tiara and a mask.” A giraffe in pink Crocs, a pink tutu, a tiara and a mask is a rather lovely mental image, don’t you think? The gaffe reminds me of Groucho Marx’s line, “I shot an elephant in my pajamas. What he was doing in my pajamas? I have no idea!”

—Jean Graham, Serra Mesa

Both letters above expose a misplaced modifier — a word, phrase or clause that is located too far away from that which it’s supposed to modify. The result is often confusion, unintended humor or both. Here are a few of my favorite examples:

• Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope.

• George Grant is the proud possessor of a brand-new Chevrolet and also a new wife, having traded the old one for a liberal allowance.

• These postcards were donated by Helen Huber, on behalf of her greatuncle, Gerhard Huber, who perished in the Titanic disaster and had been locked in a steamer trunk for 30 years.

• LOST. A walking stick by an elderly man with a curiously carved ivory head.

My advice: Locate your modifying words, phrase and clauses as close as possible to that which they modify, as in “While traveling from Washington to Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope.”

DEAR RICHARD: Poor little whom.

Most of the time that word is neglected, but once in a while it is dug up so as to be abused. From the Sports Poll in a recent U-T: “Q. If Fernando Tatis Jr. is not the National League MVP, whom should it be?”

—Bill Pease, Rancho Bernardo

Thanks, Bill, for this marvelous example of hypercorrection. The pronoun is a predicate nominative and should have been cast in the nominative case, who.

DEAR RICHARD: When a name ends in an s or a z sound, does the apostrophe belong at the end, as in Jones’? I read and hear Jones’s pronounced as “Jonesez” and Katz’s pronounced “Katzez,” etc.

—Dee Kane, Sabre Springs

The rule for creating the possessive form of names ending with an s (hissing) sound or z (buzzing) sound is simply this: Spell and punctuate it as you would say it: Jones’s dogs. Katz’s cats; Dickens’ novels or Dickens’s

novels, depending on how you say it;

Socrates’ dialogues.

DEAR RICHARD: One of the flagrant misuses of the words farther and further is in the sports pages and on TV, where the users choose further

to describe a longer golf drive, discus throw or home run. I have always understood the word farther to describe the relationship of distance and further to refer to something that is in addition to or a synonym for moreover. Please provide some understandable rules for proper use of the two words.

—Jerry Davee, San Diego

Spot on, Jerry. In U.S. English (the Brits do not adhere to this distinction), use farther for concrete, physical distance, further for abstract, metaphoric distance. Farther means “physically beyond”; further means “additional” or “additionally”:

• At times, Uranus is farther away from the sun than is Pluto.

• The committee members requested further details about the national health plan so that they could

further explore its consequences.

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I’ll be offering my Christmas humor performance at several libraries, including the Scripps Miramar Ranch Library on Dec. 4, 11 a.m.; the Rolando Library on Dec. 7, 6 p.m.; the Julian Branch Library on Dec. 8, 2 p.m.; and the Coronado Public Library, Dec. 8, 7 p.m. I’d love to meet you at one of these hallowed venues. Free admission at all.