HOW I LEARNED MY ‘IDEAL’ CHRISTMAS REALLY WASN’T
“Rockin’ around the Christmas tree / Let the Christmas spirit ring / Later we’ll have some pumpkin pie / And we’ll do some caroling.”
Brenda Lee’s “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree” is a song I enjoy listening to every year during the holidays. It reminds me of my “ideal” Christmas, the kind of holiday fantasy consisting of loud family dinners, gifts under a fully decorated tree, stockings filled with candy, warm hot chocolate next to the fireplace and playing in the snow — just like how characters celebrated the holidays in movies.
As a Korean American, I lived approximately six years in South Korea. There, my family and I would set up a tree weeks before the holidays as our tradition.
My parents would hand me and my sister a few gifts, and my family would head to our grandparents’ house to meet with our relatives. We used to celebrate the holidays this way every year. However, every year since we moved to the United States from South Korea, my family and I have not celebrated Christmas how we used to.
While living in California, I haven’t gotten the opportunity to celebrate the holidays like I did when growing up in South Korea. In previous years, I would sometimes complain to my mom about the lack of holiday spirit we had. The holidays would be a “normal and boring” day for me to do nothing seeing as most places are closed for the day to celebrate Christmas.
Watching others receive gifts, setting up Christmas trees and having family dinners made me feel envious. I would often hear them get excited to travel or hang out with relatives and open presents next to the Christmas tree. But for me, I didn’t have any relatives to visit or gifts to open next to a tree.
In my world, my dad and most of my relatives are halfway across the world — in South Korea. There aren’t any trees to set up and decorate, no gifts under the Christmas tree. Just me, my sister and my mom. My dad is currently working in South Korea and we don’t see him often, which makes it challenging for the whole family to be together for the holidays. I felt unhappy not being able to spend time with him or my other relatives and not being able to experience my “ideal” Christmas.
Additionally, we don’t decorate our house with
Christmas decorations because of the expense and seeing as my mom will move back to South Korea once I graduate from high school, she believes that decorations would go to waste.
Now, a sophomore, I have come to realize that my “ideal” Christmas didn’t have any significant meaning behind it. While window shopping a few weeks ago, I saw different types of Christmas decorations. As I saw shoppers with carts full of toys, gifts, ornaments and decorations, random questions started popping in my head: “Why do people decorate their house for Christmas?”; “Why do you consider decorating for the holidays important?”; “What makes Christmas, Christmas?”; and a question that lingered in my head longer than the other ones, “What does Christmas mean to you?”
Thinking about the questions, I realized that to me, Christmas is a day of love, hope and positivity. I have learned that not being able to fulfill my “ideal” Christmas shouldn’t be the reason why I believe that the holidays are just a day off. Although my dad won’t be able to celebrate Christmas
with us, I will always have him in my thoughts on Christmas Day. Thinking back to the previous years, instead of focusing on what I didn’t have for Christmas, I should have been focusing on what I had — my family, friends, everything that has helped me get to where I am today.
In South Korea, I celebrated and appreciated Christmas for the spirit, decorations, the number of gifts I received, the food I ate and the holiday songs. However, the questions I asked myself while window shopping changed my perspective of the holiday. I now believe that, for some, Christmas is a day to recognize the birth of Jesus Christ, but it should also be a day to celebrate gratitude, positivity, love and hope.
Instead of focusing on what I didn’t have for Christmas, I now focus on what I have — my family, friends and all that have helped me get to where I am today.